Being Barbi's Bitch

After ten wasted years of foolishly trusting in love to 'cure' me of my femininity, I had only just begun to re-embrace the sissy inside me when something made me reach out to an old friend. What made me do it, I really don't know. Although I was once again revelling in even the smallest aspects of my femininity, treasuring and celebrating them in a way that only someone who has truly missed them can appreciate, I had made a conscious decision not to reach out to old friends.

It's not that I didn't miss them -- I did miss them, and terribly -- but I was afraid that they wouldn't welcome the contact. Having been away so long, and having left the community so abruptly, I was afraid they would be angry with me for abandoning them.

I know I was angry with myself.

For some reason, though, something compelled me to reach out to Barbi. Not only was she one of my oldest and dearest friends, but she was always an erotic inspiration to me. No matter how life would bring me down, or how unfeminine I might be feeling, she was always there as an example of what all sissies and shemales might aspire to. She was my shemale goddess of transformation.

As delighted as I was to discover that her Fetish Shemale site was still around, I noticed right away that it hadn't been updated for a while. I didn't really give the fact that much thought at the time, but anxiously clicked on the email link, just to say hello.

To be honest, I was very much afraid that she wouldn't remember me.

Much to my delight, she not only responded that same night, but she did remember me. We got to chatting, and she soon revealed to me that she had taken a bit of a break from her career, for personal reasons, and was planning to retire altogether.

That news left me heartbroken -- for my goddess, for her fans, and for my own missed opportunities. Years ago, we had made plans to get together for some fun and maybe even a photo shoot, but something always happened to get in the way. We never did get our chance to meet up, and now that I had rediscovered her, I realised that chance would never come again.